


The Darkest Midnight in December

by purpleandgreen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 04:30:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleandgreen/pseuds/purpleandgreen
Summary: It's Christmas eve. Tony Stark reflects on the events since Age of Ultron.He has a visitor late that night. It's Bruce Banner, who's been missing for 18 months. Bruce has come to a decision about his future.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A slightly rushed story as I wanted to get it out on Christmas day as a present for all my tumblr and Ao3 readers and friends. xx

It was Friday who broke the silence in the lab.

“Sir, there is a visitor at security to see you.”

“Mh?”

Tony’s evenings were being spent alone these days. The quiet suited his mood, which was invariably black. Christmas Eve was no exception.

Since Pepper left, things had started to go rapidly downhill for the billionaire. It was as if his appointed CEO had been the glue that held his life together. 

The night she left, Tony had been drunk. 

In charge of the suit.

Well he’d had a rough year. Firstly there had been Ultron…

Ok, a nightmare year.

Ultron was a horrible mistake. He could see that now. But it had cost him dear. Had cost the world dear. Like losing an entire city dear. 

Of course, the Stark Relief Team had been on hand to help rehome millions of suddenly homeless Sokovian refugees. The team was also at ground zero providing disaster relief for those victims of the Hulk attack in South Africa. 

Tony winced. It hurt him to think of the Hulk, because thinking of the Hulk eventually led him to thinking about the Hulk’s alter ego, Dr Bruce Banner. 

Another loss.

Tony genuinely couldn’t decide which departure had hurt him most. He loved Pepper, but the women in his life had always left. Starting with his mother. It seemed to be an occupational hazard. He’d come to expect it.  
#  
But Bruce. Wow. That had been a whole different, difficult ball game. His feelings for Bruce were tangled, complicated. He wasn’t in love with the guy. At least he didn’t think so, but he was in love with having a person around who just – got it. Banner finished Tony’s sentences, he was always one step ahead in the lab, boy, that was refreshing. No-one had ever come close before. 

When he left, Tony had gone on a monumental alcohol binge that lasted 3 months. 

And of course, she left. Right after Christmas. There was no screaming, or shouting, Just a kiss on the forehead and a rueful smile. 

“I can’t do this anymore Tony. I won’t sit and watch while you destroy yourself.” 

And that was it. No slamming of doors, just the gentle hiss of the elevator doors as she made her dignified exit. 

Tony couldn’t remember the month after Christmas. It had been a blur of alcohol and drugs. 

Just as he thought he was coming out of it all, Steve Rogers, Captain America himself turned the world upside down for the sake of man who should have died 70 years ago. And in the aftermath of all that Rhodey had been shot down. By a creation Tony had a hand in making. 

Tony, of course, had paid for the best doctors, the best surgeons, the best physios. Progress was slow, but Rhodey was almost imperceptibly improving every day. James Rhodes, Tony thought bitterly, was his only friend and he’d almost killed him. 

Tony had been through so much, and had made so many mistakes, the enormity of it all, the Chitauri attack, the nuke, Extremis, was it any wonder that he found human relationships hard to maintain?

It had been one HELL of a year. 

Friday broke the silence again.

“Sir, I don’t know if you heard me the first time, but you have a visitor”

“Oh, thanks Friday. Who is it?” 

He glanced at the clock. A quarter past midnight. Who was here at this time of night? On Christmas?

“He says his name is Mr Bixby and that he has an appointment.”

“Well, you must be malfunctioning, my darling irish eyes are smiling, I don’t have any appointments, I don’t make appointments and I certainly don’t keep app…”

“It’s Dr Bruce Banner sir”

“What?”

“Dr Bruce Banner is here. He said not to use his real name, or you wouldn’t see him. Shall I send him in?”

Tony looked down at himself. He was wearing a pair of pajama pants that Pepper had bought for him. 

They had an 8bit ‘Hulk’ pattern on them.

He also had an old Tshirt on that he couldn’t remember changing in at least a week. 

Tony shrugged even though there was no-one there to see it, “Might as well.”

He suddenly realised his heart was pounding. It had been so long, so much had happened since he’d seen his friend. Was Bruce here to admonish, scold, threaten? 

The thought entered his head that Bruce might be here to kill him, but he dismissed that thought swiftly. 

 

Dr Bruce Banner entered the room through the same elevator doors Pep had left by. His hair was grayer than Tony remembered, and he had lost a lot of weight. Wearing a worn shirt with a corduroy jacket at least two sizes too big for him, and a pair of trousers that looked at least 20 years old, his stubble was threatening to become a beard. His cast down eyes had dark rings under them as if he hadn’t slept properly in a long time.

He stood just inside the room, not looking up and twisting his hands together. For a long time there was a silence between the two men.

“Are… are you wearing Hulk pajamas?” Bruce finally muttered.

“Well, hello to you too Dr ‘I’m going to disappear for almost two years and break all contact with my mad scientist bro’ Banner.”

Tony couldn’t hold himself back any more. He bounded forward and flung his arms around his fellow scientist, who didn’t respond, but allowed himself a smile. Bruce didn’t like to be touched usually, but this once, for this man, he made an exception. 

“Where’ve you been buddy? So much has happened. And you, you weren’t here. You just…left…”

Bruce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, it had been a long year for him too. Always on the move, never staying in one place too long; never, ever again, letting anyone come close. He’d starved; travelled until his shoes wore out and his feet bled; never stopped looking over his shoulder for so long now, he’d forgotten how bright, how glaring, how stifling, Stark Tower was.

He fought the instinct to run.

“I had to come and see you, one last time before..."

Tony interrupted. “You want something to eat? Jeez Bruce, you’re a bag of bones. When was the last time you had a decent meal?”

“Um,” Bruce frowned. He’d been about to tell Tony the reason for the visit and Tony had brushed him off. Did he know what he was going to say?

Undaunted Tony ploughed on, “Come up to the kitchen. Friday? Can you get us a couple of pizzas here pronto? One veggie, and loads of garlic bread. And ice cream. And those little doughnut things you can dunk in stuff."

“Uh, Tony?” 

“You want something else?”

“I’d love some Chinese food.”

“Sure. Friday?” Tony didn’t turn a hair, but was pleased to know that some of the old Bruce was still there.

“Yes boss?”

“Cancel the pizza order, and order Chinese instead.” 

“Already on it Boss.”

“That’s my girl. Oh, and Friday?”

“Yes boss?”

“Get the others over here, tell them Bruce is back…”

“No!”

“Boss?”

Tony looked at Bruce, whose eyes had widened. “No?”

Bruce’s eyelids dropped again and he shrank back into himself visibly.

“Okay, okay” Said Tony, “It’s just you, me and Friday.”

Bruce breathed a heavy sigh and resumed twisting his hands together over and over. A sign of stress that Tony was familiar with.

“Bruce,” Tony evened out his voice and spoke gently as if to a frightened child, “Does Nat know you’re back?”

Bruce scrunched his eyes and gulped, it was then that Tony realised he was shaking. “Bruce?” He almost whispered, reaching out to put an arm round the other man’s shoulders. Bruce slumped into Tony’s arm, allowing himself to be held.

Tony knew things were bad, when Bruce’s shaking did not stop, even in his friendly embrace. He allowed Bruce to go through whatever was happening in that maelstrom of a brilliant mind. 

Occasionally Tony Stark knew when to keep his mouth shut. 

The silence was shattered by Friday’s irish lilt. “Food has arrived Boss, it’ll be with you in a minute or so.”

A security guard came out of the lift with a large package of food. Bruce stiffened at the sight of the uniform. Tony realised how much it had taken for Bruce to even walk through the doors of Stark Tower.

They ate in silence, as Bruce was busy eating. And eating. 

Tony chewed on an egg roll and watched Bruce put away most of the food that had been ordered. Tony didn’t mind. He’d ordered all vegetarian food anyway, knowing that Bruce was hungry. He wondered how long it had been since Bruce had had a hulk out. He knew the transformations took it out of his friend, leaving him tired, and most of all, ravenous. A recent event would explain the appetite.

Finally Bruce put down the chop sticks. He pushed away the noodle carton in front of him and sighed a small contented sigh.

“So?” Said Tony, unable to keep the silence any longer.

Bruce eyed his friend for a good long moment, “I’m leaving Tony. I can’t stay here.”

Tony interrupted, “Bruce you only just got here! You gonna eat and run on me?”

“Tony.” Bruce chided his friend gently, “I’m not talking about Stark Tower. I’m talking about this planet.”

“Wh-what? Why?”

“Let me explain.” Bruce pleaded, “Please don’t interrupt, I need to tell this to someone, and it has to be you.”

“Not Nat?” 

“Especially not Natasha. Tony, she’s part of the problem. Has she ever told you what happened in Sokovia, when I went to find her?”

“No.” Said Tony truthfully, “I presumed that you hulked out in Ultron’s workshop and brought her to the city.”

Bruce swallowed, “Okay, that’s not strictly true.”

Bruce paused before taking in a deep breath as if readying himself to take the plunge into an ice cold pool of water.

“Natasha. I thought that we could make it. She and I. I wanted to run, away from the Avengers, run away from anyone who could control the other guy. Live quietly and peacefully. That’s the dream right?. Natasha said she wanted to come with me. Be with me. A taste of normality. In Ultron’s lair though, with Sokovia in danger, millions of people at risk. I told her I couldn’t help. I couldn’t let the other guy out, not after what happened in South Africa. The other guy… once you told me that I could be a hero. I know now that was a lie, whether unconsciously or not, you lied to me. Made me think I could have all of – “ He waved his hand round the luxurious apartment, “-this.”

“I was irresponsible. Whenever temptation was put into my path, the Avengers initiative, having a science buddy, having someone to love, someone almost half my age!” Bruce almost smiled shamefacedly, “I took it. My selfishness led to people dying. I – I can’t do that anymore. Natasha, she offered me something and then took it away. Trust, her trust in me to be the man I want to be, and she threw it in my face.

“Bruce, what happened?”

“When I went to find her, I was ready to run. To drop everything to be with her. I thought she understood. She kissed me, and then pushed me off a ledge to bring out the Hulk. She couldn’t leave the job behind, couldn’t help but carry out the mission. I suppose it’s her training, but after I opened up to her, after I trusted her, she brought out the Hulk for her own agenda. What she did was as bad as Wanda’s manipulation of the other guy, and could have caused as many casualties.”

Bruce was wrestling with his emotions, but he’d come too far now. He forced himself to continue, “I want to stop. I want to stop him killing anyone else – ever. I can’t risk ANYONE else using the Hulk for their own ends, however good hearted their intention.”

Tony looked at the man in front of him, Bruce, staring at the floor and wringing his hands. His heart lurched, but he knew, really knew, deep down, that Bruce was right.  
“Where will you go?”

“That was the problem. When I said I was leaving, there’s nowhere on Earth that the Hulk is not a threat; sooner or later, he’ll get out of control and kill again. And next time, will it be you he kills? Clint, leaving his children fatherless? Natasha?”

“I’ve squared it with Thor. He’s leaving for Asgard soon. He’s taking me with him. He says that there are uninhabited planets I can go to, with breathable air, with water and food. He’s going to take me to one of them.”

“You’re leaving Earth?” Tony said shaking his head in disbelief, “For good?”

“Tony,” Bruce reached out for Tony’s hand. The first time he’d ever initiated contact between the two of them, “It’s the only way. I can’t live with the stench of death that hangs around the other guy any more.”

“When… when are you going?”

“Tonight. That’s why I came to say goodbye.” 

“Bruce! We can fix this! You don’t have to…”

At that moment Thor appeared. Stern faced and grim, he looked to be in a deep anguish. Tony, who was never surprised by Thor’s and Vision’s sudden appearances, had never seen him look so concerned. He knew that he had seen a prophecy about his home world and was trying to mend whatever had happened there, but he had no idea what the Asgardian was going through. 

“Dr Banner, Tony,” he nodded toward the billionaire, “I am ready to leave. Have you said your farewells?”

Bruce gave a curt nod. 

“Bruce?” Tony spoke.

“Yes?”

“I will look for you.”

“Tony, please. Don’t. Find yourself another project, I can’t be it anymore. I heard you’d found a youngster with powers who needs guidance. Help him. He needs a father figure, someone to guide him through the minefield of being a hero. You and I know that it’s not easy. It’s never easy."

Tony nodded agreement, then for the last time, pulled Bruce to him in an embrace. And for the first time Bruce folded himself around Tony. They stayed like that for a while, until eventually Bruce extricated himself and nodded to Thor. 

Standing on the Helipad, Thor put his hand on Bruce’s shoulder, raised his hammer and in a blaze of blinding light, they were gone. 

“Bruce! I love you!” shouted Tony, but it was too late. He’d known it was too late before he said it. He’d shouted the moment they’d gone, knowing that Bruce would never hear him. He couldn’t put that on Bruce, not after everything he’d told him. He couldn’t put that on Bruce. And he never would.

Returning inside Tony Stark reached for an extremely expensive bottle of whiskey. "Merry Christmas." He muttered raising a glass to the sky.


End file.
